Lessons in Frustration

Frustration comes, at least for me, when I keep pounding my head against a wall, expecting a different result, but continually receiving the same.  It comes when what you deeply desire does not occur.  Most importantly, for me, it comes when I’m not working toward the will of God.  Frustration is a stumbling block that can literally hault any movement forward.

It’s taken me a while, but I’ve learned in events that occurred this week, that when I feel frustrated — it is a perfect time to stop, sit back, and check myself on what direction I am heading and what direction I should be heading.  There is a big difference, especially in God’s economy and will.

And, it’s truly amazing to me how He directs me (… ever so patiently) in the way that I need to be heading.  Too funny, this week — I thought I was supposed to go in one direction and darn it, I was heading in that direction… come hell or high water.  It seemed the right direction to go… close confidants shared their belief it was the right direction, my family shared their belief it was the right direction, and in the natural, it sure seemed like the only direction to go.

I headed in that direction as fast as I could… to quickly run into a brick wall.  A very large, very painful brick wall.  You’d think I would have recognized the brick wall, but oh no.  It took the most unlikely person in my life for God to show me that I’d hit a brick wall and was not headed in the path of His direction…

My lesson in frustration… If every door you try to open in one direction is closed, it’s closed for a reason.  This is not to say you’ll never run into obstacles.  This is to say, that if you’re headed in the right direction, faithful prayer and wisdom-filled actions will open that door.  If, over and over, the doors stays closed — it’s meant to be closed and it’s not the right direction.

When you are heading in the right direction, you have a peace about you that does not waiver.  It never waivers… no matter what anyone says or thinks… no matter what your own mind wrongly tells you out of fear… no matter what, peace always follows from doing what is the right thing to do.

Lessons in Going Against the Grain

The other lesson, one that was much harder to swallow this week, is that when you go against the grain to do what God calls you to do — you’ll likely lose a lot in the process.  Friends, family, and even your own pride will be lost when you do what God tells you to do.  Why?  Because often times, God’s way is not what others (and even yourself) thinks is the right way.  Often times, it goes completely against the grain of your very being.  Often times, it goes against what the entire world says is the right thing to do… some will even call you insane.

In a decision of commitment to God’s will this week, I likely looked like the insane woman who is hanging on to the impossible.  In the act of declaring my commitment this week to those closest around me, I lost some very good friends, who I thought would always support me no matter what - after all they had supported me at times when no one else did.  But, in my declaration, they made very clear their disapproval at my decision.  And, yet… I’d never felt more peace with a decision than the decision to commit to what God calls me to do.

Yes, it likely goes against the natural, the grain of most people in the same situation.  Yes, it goes against what most of the world would do in the same situation and yes, it was sad to lose some very close friends in the process.  But the peace that followed, when I realized that I was doing exactly what I was supposed to do, was truly the most amazing thing I’ve ever known (except the peace when I first gave Him my life).

My lesson in going against the grain… True peace can ONLY come when you do what your supposed to do.  It also takes sacrifice and possibly the loss of many other things that are near and dear to your heart.  But, it’s so funny (in a good way) how God takes those loses and gives you double for your trouble.  Immediately upon making that choice, within days, God brought a miracle in connecting with someone in ways that were never possible before — never, ever possible before — all because I chose to commit to Him and go against the grain.

Scriptures to Inspire You This Week to Go Against the Grain to Fulfill His Will In Your Life:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And he shall direct your paths. — Proverbs 3:5

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. — Provers 15:1

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee; because he trusteth in thee. — Isaiah 26:3

I will lead the blind by a road they do not know, by paths they have not known I will guide them, I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I will do, I will not forsake them. — Isaiah 42:16

But seek you first the Kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be given you. — Matthew 6:33

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. — Matthew 19:26

Love not the world, neither the things that are of the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. — John 2:15-16

My kingdom is not of this world: if my kingdom were of this world, then my servants would fight… — John 18:36

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. — 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. — 2 Corinthians 4:18

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. — Hebrews 11:1

What frustration is He bringing in your life to make you reconsider your direction?

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Spiritual Lessons in Frustration and Going Against the Grain

Too often, work at home moms and much of the world for that matter, try to separate their faith from everything else.  Is it really faith if your living a James Bond type double life?  I think not.  I believe you can be fruitful and prosperous in any industry (well almost…) while still upholding the values that Christ outlines for us in His Word.  It’s a matter of understanding those values AND be willing to stand up for them when temptation and questionable situations arise. At some point, you have to decide — is the money worth it or is my faith and love for Christ worth more to me than anything else.

Granted, it’s a hard decision… very hard.  (Any Christian who tells you otherwise needs to check their heart)  But, it can be done.  I do it everyday, and am one of the most successful online entrepreneurs there is.  I’ve built my company within an industry that seems to have little or no boundaries in the tactics they will use to make money.  Here’s how I do it successfully:

First and foremost, I made the decision before the situation presented itself. I knew, the moment I gave my life to Christ that I would have to eventually make a decision.  Am I going to live totally for Him or stand on the fence.  And believe me, in the online world I live in, that’s not an easy choice.  Because of my decision, I’ve had to work harder and smarter — turning down opportunities to work with the Net’s most popular and successful internet marketers, turning down opportunities to be profitable in promoting products and services I did not actually use or believe in, and even things as little as fighting the temptation to follow the crowd in providing inflated testimonials.  It’s all about integrity, you either have it or you don’t — you either sacrifice to have it or you don’t.

Remember, as a work at home mom, you’re children see how you operate your business. Are you operating with integrity, honesty, and diligence?  Do they see you completing what you say you’ll complete.  Do they see you sacrificing to fullfil your word?  Or, do they see you complaining about your work, your clients — putting things off until the last minute, being disorganized…  What they see from you is what they will become.  Are you operating like a Christian business woman should?

Are you focused on short-term gains or long-term success? There is a huge difference here.  Chances are, if you’re focused on short term gains, you’re long-term success will be crippled by your immediate, compulsive decision-making.  A wise Christian business owner, whether at home or in corporate America always makes decisions that are prudent and objective.

Have you set out a gameplan to achieve your goals. Chances are if you outline what you want to do, you will achieve it.  The Bible says that planning is not only wise, it can help you achieve things that you might not normally achieve.  And, might I add - have you prayed about your plans and sought the wise counsel of Him?  You will not prosper in ways you could, without being inline with His divine plan for your life… no matter how hard you work.

What’s important to remember is, you can’t separate your faith from  your business.  To do so is a direct reflection of the level of faith you have and also a poor reflection on Him.  You can be successful operating in a way that glorifies Him and honors your faith.  I do it everyday.

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Can You Be a Christian and Still Succeed in Internet Marketing?

Many of our plans include making it much more affordable and easier for people to have direct access from me, through our training programs and new consulting packages.  We’re also giving more back, as part of my belief in my company tithing.  Each month in 2009 we’ll be giving away our coveted Blog Makeover review to one of our WSD blog subscribers… I’m totally excited about that - one of my favorite things to do.

And, we’ve got big things planned for this personal site, as well.  I’ll be focusing more on helping other work at home moms build their business, profitably — while still maintaining the balance of the whole reason you’re working at home — family.

2009 is going to totally rock

Stop by the new Web Success Diva Blog and let me know what you think!

P.S. In case you’re diggin’ on my cool new Caricature, I’d highly suggest you check out Dimple Art.  They totally rock and are so affordable, you won’t believe the prices for your very own custom Caricature.  I loved their work so much, I’m using them for holiday gifts — you can have t-shirts and more made out of your groovy new Caricature.  Check them out:  http://websuccessdivarecommends.com/caricature/

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Web Success Diva Blog Gets a New Look

Blessing Others is Not About Return on Investment

I’ve been in a situation in my life, for a couple of years now, where I’m blessing someone who - to the world - should not be receiving the blessings.  Over and over, I’ve given my best effort to forgive this person for everything they do (daily prayer helps with this one), and yet, every little thing I do is held against me.  Over and over, regardless of how I am treated, I am constantly helping this person.  When this person disregards me as not worth investing time in, I am required to bless them.  When this person talks evilly about me, I am required to bless them.  When this person wouldn’t even think of being loyal to me, I am required to bless them.  I couldn’t even list for you all the things this person has done, and all the ways this person has let me down without writing for pages and pages and pages.

But… I truly love this person and God has shown me that love is action, it’s a choice to act, it’s not what you say you feel, it’s how you act… consistently and purposefully, if you truly love someone you show it.

Here’s the situation, I want reconciliation in this relationship - but this person’s hardness of heart, causes them to not want the same.  This person likely uses these blessings to their benefit without even thinking about reconciling.  This person likely knows of my walk with God and is likely taking advantage of it, knowing I never turn down a situation to bless them.  And for the past years, I have been obedient to God (in blessing and not cursing your enemies) not to be obedient to God, but to reconcile with this person… I had alter motives — actions God can not bless.

This past week, as God continued to work in my heart through my faithful prayer and study of His Word, I realized — it is not my job to do things for a return on investment — in reality, this person may never see my value and may never want to reconcile.  I am to do these things out of obedience to God, understanding that if I do my part, for the right reasons, He will do what He promises in His Word.

God promises… If I bless those who curse me, I will be blessed.  If I am merciful and see people through His eyes, he will be merciful to me.  He also promises that if you are obedient, with a clean heart, He’ll reward you double for your trouble and you’ll enjoy His favor and blessings.  Real love loves the unlovable, all the time, no matter how they react or act or don’t act.  (Isn’t this what He does for us everyday!)

My lesson learned… Simply do what I’m supposed to do and let God worry about the rest.  Return on investment in blessing others should be the last thing on my mind.  It’s about growing in His love, so that love overflows to everyone, no matter what the situation.

Answers to Prayers Works in God’s Timing, He’s Working Slowly Everyday… I’m in a Controlled Environment.

I have recently realized that God is in control of everything, everyone, and every situation.  Everything.  And, His timing is not my timing.  And, what I might think of as impossible… is nothing for Him.  Tied to all this is the realization that God does not change people on your time or in the way you think they should, but if you pay attention closely, He is working in others around you.

I live with someone right now, a non-believer, who has one of the coldest and meanest hearts I’ve ever experienced.  This person seems to have no compassion for others, this person gossips and backbites on a seemingly daily basis.  This person has caused a LOT of drama and pain for others, and continues to do so to this day — almost like a snake, looking at every turn to create striphe among people.  I’ve experienced this person’s so-called wrathe for most of my life.  So bad, in fact, at one point - I gave up on any relationship with this person.

But, God has slowly showed me that NO ONE is beyond His reach.  NO situation is beyond His control.  And, if I would just see them from a different perspective — through His eyes — that I would see Him slowly working in them, through me.  This week, I traveled to the store with this person.  Each week the local market has a charity cause that they ask you to donate money to… Each week, I give 10% of whatever I spent on groceries for me and the kids to whatever charity is involved at the time.  This week is the first time EVER, EVER, EVER this person has seen what I do and done the same thing.  To my surprise she donated the same amount as me and signed the giving card… with an attitude of blessing others.  If you knew this person, you’d know what a true miracle this really is.

God’s promises… God promises that if you live your life the way He calls you to in His Word, you will be a light in a world of darkness and you WILL “rub off” on those that seem out of reach and cold as ice.  By living in kindness, by living by example, by being instead of talking about it (which, trust me doesn’t work) — you’re letting God shine through you and it WILL ALWAYS affect those around you!

My lessons learned… God is totally, completely and miraculously in control.  For years, I had sworn off this person, for years I had tagged them as a “lost cause.”  For years, I had condemned and overlooked at the small ways God was working in their life.  My lesson is to change my perspective on God’s power and the little ways He slowly changes people.  Had I not changed my mindset, I would have missed the joy of seeing this person do a little task that shows, they are not as cold as they seem.

God works in mysterious ways… His ways are not our ways and His timing is not our timing.  But He promises if we remain faithful, prayerful, and obedient to His way of things - no matter how hard it seems to do - His way always works!

Bible Scriptures to Inspire You This Week

Love suffers long and is kind.  Love does not envy; love does not parade itself, it is not puffed up; does not seek it’s own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”  1 Cor. 13:4-7

Judge not, that you be not judged.  For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.  And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your eye?  Matt. 7:1-3

For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you.  Matt. 6:14-15

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.  Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.  Matt. 5:7-8

Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.  Psa. 55:22

And may the Lord make you increase and abound in love to one another and to all, just as we do to you.  1 Thes. 3:12

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in Heaven.  Matt. 5:16

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Bible Study: Blessing Others, Life in a Controlled Environment, and Being Thankful

This man and his tremendous courage moved me to such a degree, I’ve since bought over 25 copies of the book, The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch (unedited version is the best) and sent it to every person that is near and dear to my heart.  I urge you to do the same.

The words in his book, are not only moving — but bring to mind the necessity to always follow your dreams and to place what really matters in life — love, family, and your dreams.

Here’s the video of Randy’s last lecture, watched by over 7 million people a few short months before his untimely death.  If this doesn’t move  you to re-prioritize and follow your dreams… nothing will.

I can only hope that some day, I can leave a legacy like the one Randy Pausch did!

Buy The Last Lecture book for yourself and friends!

Share The Last Lecture video with everyone you know!

Check out the Official Last Lecture website!

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Achieving Your Childhood Dreams: The Last Lecture with Randy Pausch